I Want Butterflies: 10 Ways To Keep Your Relationship Fresh and Exciting


We all know how easy it is to fall into a relationship rut. One minute you’re falling in love, making out in elevators and your stomach is bursting with butterflies and the next you’re walking around in your old PJ’s, chewing each other’s ear off about work and falling asleep in front of the TV together. Ok, maybe it’s not quite that dramatic a change, but you get the gist…

The fact is that relationships take work. It may sound boring but actually if you think about it, it’s kind of exciting! I mean isn’t it kind of empowering to think that your relationship doesn’t have to rely solely on first time jitters but that you can actually feel comfortable with one another and still get crazy love butterflies? All it takes is a little effort and a few ideas really!

So if you’re nearing that ugly pj’s danger zone or are simply looking for fun ways to keep your relationship fresh, here are a few ideas to get you started:

♥ Play the first date game

Sometimes getting ready together at home can actually take some of the magic out of a special occasion. You get stuck talking about boring everyday stuff and one of you often ends up waiting around for the other. Not exactly romantic! An easy way to switch things up and bypass the practical stuff is to get ready separately and to meet directly at a bar or restaurant. Also, since neither of you will know what the other one is wearing it will almost feel like a first date when you walk into the room and see each other for the first time.

Surprise each other

Just because you’ve been together for a while it doesn’t mean that you can’t still be spontaneous or surprise one another. Gifts are always great of course but there are heaps of other things you can do and that don’t involve spending any money. Sometimes I’ll leave a little love note for Mark to find in his coat or I’ll just make his favorite dish for dinner if I know he’s had a bad day. I also love it when he calls me out of the blue to just to say that he’s thinking of me. It just makes my heart melt.

Turn a midweek dinner into a special evening

Light up a few candles, put on some music, dress up a little and voila! You can even cheat a little and buy some takeaway food…as long as you put them in pretty plates of course. Plastic boxes don’t exactly scream romance if you know what I mean.

♥ Spend time apart

I know this seems counter intuitive but sometimes absence really does make the heart grow fonder. If you spend too much together (or work together) you run the risk of having nothing left to say to each other and to have no mystery left in your relationship. Break the everyday routine by spending a day or a weekend apart every once in a while. You could head for a fun night with your friends or even go on a girls weekend. Besides, nothing stops you from sending each other sexy texts while you’re away either..

 Have a full on make out session

Forget all the cute little pecks and turn every kiss into a full-on make out session for a night. You could even head out to the movies and relive your teenage years by locking heads at the back of the movie theater. I don’t take any responsibilities if you get told off by disgusted teenagers or get kicked out that being said (jealous).

Try a little (friendly) competition

Nothing like a bit of competition to start out some sparks. Just make sure you pick a game that you’re both reasonably good at  and that your partner isn’t a sore loser ;)

Turn off the TV

It’s no secret that television is romance’s number one killer. So unless you want to watch a steamy movie together or something like that, ban the TV and all electronics from the bedroom (or your life, whatever). You’ll be amazed at all the time you suddenly have available for romance!

Head out of a town for a day

Everyone loves a road trip! Pick a place neither of you has ever been to before, pack a picnic and head out on an adventure for the day. Picking fresh fruit, tasting wine or walking in the forest are all romantic options but driving to the nearest beach could be just as lovely. Don’t forget to pack your GPS too though as there’s no bigger downer than arguing about directions all the way home…(trust me, I’ve been there).

Try something new in the bedroom

Want to steam things up in the bedroom too? Then how about indulging in a little role play or exploring one of your fantasies together. You could also shop for sexy toys or new lingerie or simply bust out your kama sutra and try a whole new move together.

♥ Give each other compliments

When you’ve been together for a while, you tend to forget to give each other compliments or even to just say ‘I love you’ because you assume the other person already knows how you feel. The truth is though, no one ever gets tired of being told they’re special and loved. There’s also something really nice about receiving a compliment from your partner. I always pretend I’m really embarrassed when Mark gives me a compliment in public (or at home) but secretly I love to know that we’re still each other ‘s number 1 fans :)

 How do you keep the sparks flying in your relationship? What are your favorite things to do together as a couple?

ps. 12 things to do when you’re feeling blue.


  • So many good tips here – you make such a good point about not getting ready together… I agree that this can spoil a romantic night out as it takes the drama and intrigue out of it a fair bit.

    I like to make the effort to do something different together as a couple each week… Whether it be trying out a new cafe for lunch or sharing a bottle of wine together that we’ve never tried before or even going for a walk at a different beach or bush track. My partner and I both work from home so we are together a LOT which means it makes it even more important to get out and partake in different activities I reckon :)

    • I love the idea of trying something new together every week Mel! I totally agree that trying new things together is a great way to keep the romance alive ;)

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